Tweens, these mysterious and confusing creatures, have a set of well-kept secrets that are sure to take parents by surprise.
1. When they are worried about something they may express it as irritability or anger. Try not to confuse this with an "attitude."
2. When they cry they may actually be angry rather than sad. This is true of both daughters and sons.
3. They do not want parents to be their friends. Hopefully, they have friends.
4. They do NOT want their parents to be "cool." It's their turn to be cool, not yours. It is therefore not necessary to show their friends your tattoos. Enjoy them, but don't share them with your tweens and their friends in an attempt to get them to like you. There is a high probability that this will backfire by embarrassing them.
5. They do not want you to confide in them about your deeply personal issues. If you are angry at your spouse, either work it out or confide in friends. Tweens don't have the ability to solve adult problems.By confiding in them, you are unintentionally implying that you expect them to have this ability.
6. They probably do love you, but are unlikely to tell you at this age. It's just not what most tweens do on a regular basis.
7. They are having as hard a time dealing with the tween years as you are. Together, you will navigative these years and it will become one more shared experience to reflect back on.
8. When you criticize their friends, they get mad because they feel that you are criticizing them!
Do you have a secret to share about your tween? Share it here. It might end up in a book someday!
This post was originally published on Barbara's blog, "Talking Teenage". Many thanks to Barbara for her expertise, friendship, and kindly allowing us to edit her original post for parents of tweens, and re-post here. She will continue to be an inspiration and great resource for My Shiny Monkey in posts to come!
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