Today, Michelle Obama trended high in social media after sitting down with various traditional media outlets to talk about the anniversary of "Let's Move," the fact that Barack Obama has been smoke-free for a year, and the decision that her two tweens, Sasha and Malia, are too young for any social networking sites. Twitterverse lights up, the story is trending like crazy.
Let's focus our eyeballs on Facebook, which is technically forbidden for kids under 13 (but we all know kids with accounts who shouldn't; they only have to fake their birthday to sign up for an account. Older siblings can be bribed to help.)
My own two shiny monkeys (same ages as Sasha and Malia, 12 and almost 9), are also forbidden to have their own FB pages, though they have friends that do. With texting, a full day of school and not enough "face time" in the RW (Real World) with their friends, why give them more leeway and more excuses to be online? We already have Club Penguin, Webkinz and other fun, safe sites taking too much screen time... privacy and security aside, remember we are the parents and we have the last word. We are in charge. No more screen time, I say.
But I fully understand that Facebook is fun and some parents do allow their kids to troll the 'Book like it was the school playground. If you are a parent who chooses to give your older (and hopefully mature) tween the golden ticket, take the time to talk to your tween and learn how to make Facebook safe. Use this blog post as an icebreaker!
Three great resources to check out with your tween:
1. Connect Safely, a comprehensive and well designed site ready to answer a parent's questions about how to navigate this thing we call the Internet with confidence. They put together a great "Facebook for Parents" manual you should read - privacy settings to check off... and importantly, which ones you DON'T need to worry about.
2. Common Sense Media: another great site helping parents navigate the internet and the media. Common Sense recently released the results of a survey showing that “92 percent of parents are concerned that kids share too much information online, and 85 percent of parents say they’re more concerned about online privacy than they were five years ago.” Michelle Obama has good backup for her decision to keep her girls off Facebook.
3. Safe Kids also has a terrific parents' guide to Facebook, which you can download and share with your partner or friends. With the interesting parts highlighted.
Here are a few recommendations from Connect Safely:
Setting | Recommendation for teens |
Current city and hometown | Generally OK |
Interested In | Leave blank or think about whether the interests you type in reflect positively on you |
Looking For and Relationship Status | Leave blank |
Political Views and Religious Views | Think about how filling this in might affect people’s perception of you and whether it could subject you to bullying |
Bio | Generally OK, but don't go overboard - think about how your info might look to others |
Profile Picture | An appropriate photo of yourself or an object or cartoon character that represents you; or just leave blank |
Education and Work | Generally OK to list your school. Consider not listing employer |
Likes and Interests (activities, music, books, movies, etc.) | Generally OK but think about what you list, how it will be perceived & whether it will subject you to bullying |
And some pretty smart tips from Common Sense Media to review with your tweens - even if they are not using social media spaces right now:
- Think about what you post to avoid problems later on.
- Read between the “lines.” While some people are nice, others act nice because they’re trying to get something.
- Don’t talk about sex with strangers. If talk about sex persists, call your local police or contact CyberTipline.com.
- Avoid in-person meetings. Never meet someone you met online in person.
- Be smart when using a cell phone. Remember cell phones have GPS and other technologies that can pinpoint your physical location.
Check out these resources and post a comment if you have a great resource to share - we'll add it to our tween links!
2 comments:
As the parent of a 16 year old and a 12 1/2 year old, I have been amazed by how many of my 12 year old's friends already have Facebook accounts and, according to my daughter, "friend" all manner of older boys. My own daughter is forbidden to have one until she turns 13 but certainly has access to it through other people's accounts.
Some parents I know insist on having their kids "friend" them. That works up to an extent but they can restrict what they allow you to see.
maybe i'm just an uptight parent, but my girls are 14 1/2 and 13, and I've got them locked them through the router. they can't visit myspace, fb, or even Pixie Hollow. let me explain the last. Pixie Hollow is a Disney site, very much like club penguin, the difference is the kids can type what they like within the system's allowable words. when my 14 year old was 12, she became addicted to pixie hollow. so addicted, that my A student was missing homework assignments and her grade dropped to a C. before the grade even dropped, i tried to compromise and limit her time there, just because i didn't care for how much time she was spending online. when the grades dropped, i realized that when she said she was researching, she was really in Pixie Hollow. So I blocked the site from the router. She had to go cold turkey and was grouchy for days, but then she got over it and the grades went back up. She's now in high school with a 94% average.
these sites are addictive, no matter how old you are. It's whether you're old enough to police yourself that's important.
Post a Comment