I had a crush once. He wore a vest and plaid shirt, listened to cool rock music, and played the guitar. He sat next to me in class, and every single word he said to me or at me was savored like a Valentine's Day chocolate. My heart would flutter, my pulse quicken, and my words would get all fuzzy and my tongue would feel like a pillow in my mouth.
Puppy love? A crush?
Whatever you call it, first know that crushes are a really fun, scary and normal part of being a tween. You may be outgoing or you may be a wallflower shy type, but crushes can make you forget who and where you are as nerves kick in... and they DO kick in, no matter how much of a cool monkey you are.
Maybe you tease your crush or play around at recess to get his/her attention. Maybe your nerves make you lose your good judgment and even cause you to bully or tease more than you intend to. As a rule of thumb, remember the "do unto others as you would have others do unto you" rule - if your teasing, chasing, or "kidding" makes them nervous or feels awkward, STOP. Think. And change your behavior... you are in charge of your own behavior. Never do anything that makes you or someone else feel uncomfortable... and listen to your instincts when you've crossed the line, or someone (kid or adult) has done that with you.
On the positive side, a crush can rock your world and you can decide if you want it to be public or private. You may just admire him/her from afar, text each other after school, talk for hours on the phone, or even get asked to a party or dance or "group date" with other kids... just start out as friends and see where things go naturally.
Remember that it can be fun to talk to your friends about your crush, but assume that the word WILL get out eventually. Truth (and no exaggerating!) is always the best policy... it's tough to lie and then remember who you told what about whom. Never tease or bully someone for information... a crush is between two people, and ONLY those two people.
Love is one of the most powerful emotions, and has the power to make you think and act differently than you normally would. It's tough for tweens to talk to their parents about crushes, but you'd be surprised... parents were kids once too, and crushes have been around a long time... they will still remember the lessons learned from their own early crushes and dating experiences and have lots of wisdom to share. Believe it or not, parents can be your most reliable source when it comes to advice on crushes, especially if you find out that your crush doesn't like you back. Those feelings of sadness and disappointment are really hard to go through alone, but they will fade... and in reverse, if you are the heartbreaker, try to use kindness and empathy no matter what your reasons are that you can't return those special feelings.
If you are enjoying Valentine's Day with your crush, here's a little song you may want to play for your crush (or send this link as a way to tell your crush that you like them!):
Happy Valentine's Day, shiny monkeys... we love you all and wish you a happy day filled with kisses, real or imagined.
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