Five G's to great holidays with tweens

Now that the monkeys are in middle school, the holiday season takes on a whole new vibe. Gone are the days of sneaking gifts downstairs (though surprises are still attempted) and "tricking" the kids with sooty footsteps on the hearth, sadly.

As cute as the little ones are, I'll say it: it always kind of bugged me to teach them never to lie, except at the holiday season, where we gleefully tell our kids a Santa's belly-sized portion of fibs for amusement.

Without sounding Grinch-y or preachy, and hopefully being authentic, here are the five G's for a great holiday season from a tween mom. I hope these spur ideas on how you can create a more honest, respectful, and memorable holiday season (and for gift ideas, stay tuned for a holiday gift Pinterest board this week!):

1. BE GENUINE.  The bad news? No more Santa myths. The good? A really honest, humorous, genuine opportunity to share, for the first time, YOUR holiday experience with your tween. Recant tales of how delighted they were, how fun it was for you and your partner, how the grandparents delighted in seeing your tween light up at the "best gift ever," and helping them appreciate how the holiday season brings joy in all kinds of ways.

2. BE GIVING: giving can be as fun as receiving.  After you recant your tales of shopping, sleuthing, sliding gifts under the tree, and posing as Santa, make it a teachable moment: parents don't generally receive gifts, but their gift is making others happy and seeing that special expression on a person's face when they receive the perfect, thoughtful gift.  

The Santa Foundation HQ, where we help out every year. :)

 3. GET OUT THERE. Make time to do at least one thing each season as a family that demonstrates how you give back to those less fortunate. Donate gifts, volunteer in the community, give globally, attend or help out at a senior center or hometown holiday event, support the arts, participate in walk/run... the calendar listings are filled with memorable experiences that far outlast the latest XBox game.

4. SHOW GRATITUDE. Tweens are old enough to make, write or buy simple, meaningful gifts to each family member. Being thoughtful and learning to express gratitude is a gift in itself.  The gift of time ("a special day with Dad and Grandpa?") is precious to this age group who are always on the go. Reminding your tweens to be grateful for their gifts by leading by example. Don't assume they will automatically express their gratitude for hours that grandma spent on that handknitted sweater.  

Read this article about helping kids go from greedy to grateful. 

5. GRIN, SAY CHEESE: Photograph/video a little, even if they protest. At this age, some self-conscious tweens do not like being photographed. I believe that it really isn't the photo they despise; it's the fact that we share it with a million friends and family members (hello Facebook) without their permission.  This is an opportunity to show your tween some respect and treat them like adults, explaining why capturing some of their holiday moments is so important - because you love them, and want them to remember these moments later on and share with their children someday. It'd be tough to hear later, "Why don't you have any pictures of me after elementary school?" Here are more tips on photography with teens by the experts at exposureguide.com.

Happy holidays!